Monday, April 2, 2012

Something wonderful has happened.


I purchased my ticket to California.  I'm counting down to April 11 and back into the arms of my love.

I came to Hawaii on a soul journey and what I've gained in these 75 days will last me a lifetime.  There was a time when my coach said to me that he and his partner could move on from each other at any time with complete love.  I called bull shit.  I had no idea what he was talking about and his words terrified me.  Overtime I came to understand what he meant and now I'm so grateful.  You see, I had to let go of Cliff to really find ME.

That involved a beautiful island, a simple life with time and space away, time to walk the beach, read, write, listen.  In the process of that time and space I found darkness and light, chaos and peace and thankfully the light stayed, peace rushed in and with it I found deep love for myself.


I see this girl in the mirror each and every day and I notice that I look at her the way I look at Cliff.  I really love her, I see her, I feel her and I listen to her.  All that love opened up this space in me that I didn't know previously existed.  Like finding a secret door in the wardrobe to another land.  It's huge in here and love filled.

When I think of all the ways this trip could have gone I am so thankful that the longings of my heart were heard (of course they were).  Love is so tender and it's thrown around all the time that until you love yourself you can't really love anyone else.  I actually finally believe that's true. 



We said goodbye at an airport and we'll say hello again at an airport. 
I so appreciate the perfection of how we end up exactly where we began.

Here's to the journey of a lifetime and all that will unfold next.
There is so much more coming!

Happy to say, mission accomplished!
Lacy

7 comments:

ashbsmiley said...

Excited for you and your discoveries! The bay will be happy to have you and all of your love for you, cliff, life, others, ned....the list goes on & on.
xo
A

CliffTech said...

Can't wait to hold this new, happy, loving wife of mine!
Congratulations on finally loving the woman you have always been to me.

JenCoen said...

Thank you Laci, for sharing this experience with us. It has been enlightening and exciting and thought provoking. You are wonderful in every way and I am happy that you will be returning to Cliff with this new love and understanding for yourself. You are beautiful! :-)

Kayla Burns Floyd said...

Happy tears! I have been so honored to be a cheerleader from afar of your journey sis, and I can't wait for the next chapter. xoxo

Ingrid said...

This post made me want to run to a mirror, smile really big and take a picture. It's a good Tuesday morning post. Thanks for the warm fuzzies!

Summer Says... said...

How beautifully lovely.

the girl said...

oh my. this post took my breath away. your process is beautiful, dedicated and astonishingly BRAVE. love you.